29 June 2010
Today my new sister sings the songs her mother used to sing to her. I realized that she has missing pieces in her life that she is trying to fill since the death of her mother. She has been removed from the life she was promised. Our similarity lies in the way we both could not foresee the unfortunate events we now have to endure. The death of her mother and the loss of my family life relate: they both left Lia and I to fend for ourselves and to cope alone.
10 September 2010
Our parallel experiences make me think about the human state after it’s been thrown into an environment against its will. The conscious state of the mind changes after people are put in a situation they cannot control. It seems every person reacts differently when they are put into unusual surroundings. As a person adapts to these different environments, they begin to form different perspectives towards their past, present, and future lives. Familiar objects and settings placed in a new environment make people reconsider their own supposed environment. Some people react negatively to this change because they have mentally built harmonious worlds and become oblivious to the problems in front of them. They spend so much time perfecting each little detail of their lives when in reality nothing they do can be perfect. This imaginary world ends up being a hostile environment due to the problems it creates in real life. Ending up in a place where nothing is familiar, the attempt they make to recreate this fantasy only creates more problems. I am guilty of living behind this faςade. I find it interesting how the conscious state of mind is happy or unhappy or depressed or renewed as a reaction to a new situation. Lia and I are still reacting to what has happened to us.
25 October 2010
I have realized that all of these reactions stem from a place of naïveté. Through my parents’ failed relationship I have seen how people create fake realities. When their fantasy came to a halt, I was especially broken. Divorce was the last thing I would have ever expected, and I was left alone with the parts of what was, what could have been, and what would never be.